Monkeybizness

As rappers go, I don’t mind Kanye West. But Kanye, I’ve got a gripe, and as a white middle-class male from Australia I feel qualified to pass on this advice: ending two consecutive lines with the same word is not rapping in my books mate.

I’m going to leave aside the fact that a significant proportion of rappers have given up even trying to rhyme in time with the beat, and turn my attention to some of Kanye’s lyrical curiousities.

Firstly, let’s take a look at a few excerpts from Golddigger - a great tune by any measure:

18 years, 18 years
She got one of yo’ kids got you for 18 years

She was spose to buy ya shorty TYCO with ya money
She went to the doctor got lipo with ya money
She walkin around lookin like Michael with ya money
Shoulda got that insured, GEICO for ya moneeey (moneeey)

But you stay right girl
But when you get on he leave yo ass for a white girl

Notice anything? Yep, same bloody word at the end of every line. In one case, four consecutive lines. Kanye, you’re not even trying! How about this from American Boy by Estelle?

Estelle once said to me, cool down down.
Don’t act a fool now now.
I always act a fool oww oww.
Ain’t nothing new now now.

Time to learn some new words now now, because it gets really annoying when you use the same ones now now, see what I mean now now? But Kanye, I did some homework, and if you can afford it, for just $14 you can buy a rhyming dictionary from Amazon.com! Sweet!

Imagine if Kanye wrote his own book of rhyming words. This is what the entries would look like:

18 years = 18 years
Now = now
Money = money
Girl = girl

Happily though, Kanye doesn’t hold the title for worst rap lyric ever. That title will always be held by Salt n’ Pepa (with En Vogue) for their slightly confusing effort in Whatta Man:

Yes its me that he’s always choosing. With him I’m never losing,
And he knows that my name is not Susan.

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